One of my dear friends was dumped by her boyfriend yesterday. She hadn’t been dating him long, but she falls hard and fast and throws herself in completely when she cares about someone or something. Both a great thing..and not so great, sometimes.
Either way, I managed to get it out of her that he was the only one that had told her she was beautiful and that she was beautiful inside and out. She had never felt like that and I realized that she was relying on guys to make her feel that she’s wonderful. She didn’t think that of herself!
This pulled at my heart a bit. I love this girl to death, and to hear her be so negative about herself pained me. I tried to not sound preachy, but to tell her that she needs to love herself first before she lets anyone else love her. She needs to realize what an amazing human being she really is, yes, inside and out. She is a fiercely dedicated friend, daughter, and sister. When she finds something she cares about, she throws herself into it…a step short of obsession 😉 I think this is an admirable and wonderful trait to have! When she cares…she REALLY cares!
I tried my hardest via text message to tell her she should feel that way about herself. whether its a good hair day, or a messy bun day; sweats or formal wear; bloated or gym-fresh. She is beautiful. I swear, if I could have reached through that phone, I would have shaken her!! Anything to get her to realize what a unique and wonderful person she really is.
she doesn’t need a man to tell her that. she doesn’t need ANYONE to tell her that. NO WOMAN needs that!! You are your most beautiful self, always. Don’t ever let anyone try to tell you different. Those are the people you don’t need in your life.
Self-Esteem is a hard thing to come by for some people. I know I struggled with it all through middle and high and college. It really took me being in a few bad relationships to realize, you know what? I’m beautiful. I’m a catch! I’m smart and funny and witty. I care fiercely about my friends and family. I’m lucky that i’m dating one of my best guy friends from college who sees this the same way I do and supports me in whatever I do.
I wish that for all of my girlfriends. A guy who cares about you as much as he cares about himself. Who supports you emotionally. Who roots you on when you take something on. That guy comes in all shapes, sizes, colors, creeds…don’t discount someone because you have this IDEAL image in your head of what Prince Charming is. There might be a guy right under your nose that is ga-ga for you, but you don’t give the time of day or have friend-zoned based on something that might be a little shallow. Let the tide fall back and see how many beautiful fish are waiting for you. (Was that too cheesy or bad? haha!)
Moral of this post: Love your self. Don’t let anyone else dictate how you feel about yourself.